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What is Domestic Abuse?
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be impacted by domestic abuse within their lifetime.
Domestic Abuse is abuse committed by someone you have an existing relationship with. In the majority of cases this is a romantic partner, but could also be a family member or carer.
It can be a one-off incident such as physical violence, or a pattern of coercive behaviour aimed at controlling someone. It’s important to remember that domestic abuse is not always physical violence and often there are no signs that someone is experiencing abuse.
Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
Coercive control
Emotional abuse
Physical violence
Sexual violence
Financial or economic abuse
Tech abuse (online or digital)
Honour Based Abuse
Coercive Control
‘There are no black-eyes with coercive control. No bruises or broken bones. It’s so hard to spot that often people in controlling relationships don’t recognise that it’s happening to them.’
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour used to punish, threaten and manipulate a person. It creates a sense of fear and is designed to isolate somebody, limiting their independence and making them dependant on their abuser. The control can start small and slowly develop into larger scale abuse.
It has been a criminal offence since 2015 and carries a maximum penalty for someone found guilty of five years imprisonment.
Coercive control might impact your life by:
Stopping or changing the way you socialise with friends and family.
Changing your routine to suit your partner, including work patterns, employment status or routes to work.
Being monitored by and needing to report back to your partner at all times.
Having your financial independence restricted e.g. your partner denies access to money, prevents you from working or sabotages your employment or welfare benefits.
Being deprived access to medication, phone and internet usage.
Feeling unable to have family or friends visit.
Being told what you should and should not enjoy and being humiliated for enjoying things you previously have.
Visit our page on Sexual Violence for more information and where to get help and support.
If you think you might be in an abusive relationship,these questions might help you.
Stalking
‘Digital stalking: a guide to technology risks for victims’ This is an important resource for all stalking victims, including the many survivors of domestic violence who are being stalked by an ex-partner.
Stalking is not just something that happens to famous people , it can happen to anyone and is particularly prevalent in abusive relationships and after they have ended.
Stalking is often confused with harassment, as the two are similar in terms of the type of behaviours that they cover. The big difference between the two is the frequency of the behaviour.
Harassing behaviours are persistent, distressing and unwanted forms of attention/contact/incidents, for example:
waiting at your workplace, home or neighbourhood
constant phone calls, text messages, emails, letters or notes, social media contact
sending or leaving of gifts, to your home, workplace, friend’s/family’s house
contacting your friend’s, family, work colleagues
watching you, your friends, your family, using audio and visual recording equipment , bugging phones, home, workplace, tracking your vehicle or your phone
coercive and threatening behaviour to manipulate you into engaging with them, for example threatening to harm themselves, someone else or expose personal information about you
spreading viscous rumours about you, trying to degrade, undermine or humiliate you in an attempt to isolate you and diminish other relationships you have
threats of violence, actual violence, damage to property
If you are experiencing this type of attention/contact/behaviour and it has happened two or more times, is directed at or towards you by another person and you feel alarmed, distressed, afraid, threatened or at risk of violence, then you are being stalked and you should report it to the police and seek support:
If you feel at risk of immediate harm and fear for your safety call 999.
If you want to report stalking and are safe at the moment then call 101.
Seek additional support from the national staking helpline on :
If you are experiencing domestic abuse and your abuser is stalking you , you can also access support at Safer Futures
Although the police will work with you to keep you safe, there are things you can do yourself as well, for example:
tell your family/friends/work colleagues what you are experiencing, so they can help to keep you safe, keep a look out for the stalker and document any contact they receive
document every incident of contact, the more information the better:
where, when, what type of contact/behaviour
what the person looks like
what car they were driving
what they were wearing
who they were with
hold on to any items/letters that are sent to or left for you, this is evidence. If the items/letters are too upsetting, ask a friend to hold them for you
do not delete any emails, texts, social media content that is aimed at you or about you, sent to you or sent to people you know about you
practice with your phone to be able to record and save any calls you may receive
avoid any type of engagement with the person stalking you, as this could lead to a violent/harmful/frightening incident
block numbers, social media profiles, email addresses as you become aware of them, do not answer private numbers and ask people not to contact you on private or unknown numbers without texting you first
report online harassment to social media companies
make sure that any social media profiles you have are set to private
You can access more information about stalking from:
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